“How do you know you’re not just a straight girl?”
This is something that we ask ourselves a lot, and that others ask us too. Which is stupid, because deep down we all know that sexuality isn’t gender, and gender isn’t bodies. It’s like being in a production of Macbeth, where you’ve been given the part of Lady Macbeth when you actually wanted to be Duncan. Sure, you’re still in the play, but… it’s not the part you rehearsed for.
I remember being in my early 20’s and wondering why, when I found myself in the company of a guy I found attractive, I would act more masculine. I didn’t stick my ass out and squish my boobs together and giggle a lot. I squared my shoulders and lifted heavy things and took up space to impress him (even though I consciously knew it wouldn’t work), and even more “dude”s and “man”s and f-bombs flew out of my mouth than normal. For some reason my animal brain was convinced that men were attracted to masculinity because I was attracted to masculinity, and it was a lot of work to uncross those wires and learn to be feminine when I wanted a guy to like me. Fortunately for me, I’ve discovered that those wires weren’t, in fact, crossed – I was just trying to pick up straight men like a gay dude would try to pick up another dude. Where the fuck did I learn that trick? Right, because I’m actually a guy.
Straight girls don’t act like that. Straight girls don’t downplay their secondary sex characteristics when they’re trying to flirt. They are never under the erroneous impression that straight men are attracted to masculinity. They don’t want to have sex like they’re a couple of army corporals off in the Pacific theater of WW2 sharing a rack. They just don’t.